My Daily Stream of Consciousness

... but not daily or necessarily true

Ode to the dentist

Published at 28 September 2017 12:51 PM EDT in 'General'

Why does the dental hygienist feel the need to have a conversation with me while she cleans my teeth?

I mean really, my mouth is hanging wide open, I am upside down, I can’t answer your questions with more than a gaaahaah, and I want to get out of here as fast as humanly possible.

I don’t need to hear about your children, or grandchildren. I don’t want to talk about snowstorms, particularly as it is September and we just had a heatwave. I am not going to give you my political opinions on Trump, or any other lunatic trying to run the world. Trust me when I tell you it would not end well, even if you are a Liberal like me. Even my husband gets exhausted by my indignation with the whole thing (he particularly dislikes my ‘Nasty Woman’ t-shirt).

So please, for crying out loud, just clean my teeth as quickly and efficiently as possible.

I am guess that at some point there was a company workshop or seminar where the topic was ‘How to improve your client’s dental cleaning experience!’ and I am damn near positive the suggestion was to carry out a pleasant conversation while you work. Talk about the weather and your summer vacation. Ask them about their family and children. While I am here to tell that is all BULLSHIT!

I don’t need you to improve my dental experience because the only thing that is going to do that is you finishing so I can get the hell out of here!

Okay I will admit I might be a little biased. I don’t like going to the dentist at all. The only reason I started again, after a ten year hiatus, was because of a tooth pain I could no longer ignore, and trust me when I tell you I was pretty damn good at ignoring it for a long time. That experience led me to believe short regular appointments was the better way to go. But that does not mean that I will ever like it.

All that being said, I have a very hard time believing anyone else wants to carry out an awkward conversation either. Seriously just put some office music on and let me trail off into my own little world and work as quickly as you can! That is the only answer to the question ‘How do you improve your client's dental experience?’ period!

Also, while we are on this whole dental experience topic I just want to say that having a dentist that looks like Seth Rogan is extremely unsettling.

Oh well …
…. now off to the coffee shop to re-stain my teeth to their rightfully caffeinated colour!

(it strikes me that I may be acting slightly anti-social, but in this situation I just don't care!)

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Christine Morton -

A mother, a daughter, a magic bean grower,
a hoper, a lover, a dandelion blower.
A dreamer, a wisher, a photograph maker,
a writer, a hoper, a lesser road taker.

© 2016 Christine Morton Redhead Snaps